Never Again
by Cherry Burlesque
Summary: Gone. Passed away. Departed. Passed on. Late. Crossed over. Lost. Deceased. Dead. So many synonyms. Only one pain. Revolutionshipping. Oneshot. Téa's POV.


_Title:__ Never again._

_Summary:__ Gone. Passed away. Departed. Passed on. Late. Crossed over. Lost. Deceased. Dead. So many synonyms. Only one pain. Revolutionshipping. Oneshot. Téa's POV._

_Pairings:__ Atem x Téa._

_Notes/Warnings:__ Epic angst. Slight deviation from canon._

**WCB: Hai friends. I wrote this at 1.30am, after no sleep in the past two days. I am currently running purely on Mother, red frogs and lolly snakes. Anyway, I wrote this as a bit of catharsis. My best friends Mum passed away yesterday after a long illness, and so I'm a tad whacked out. To all the people out there sending me reviews and PM's about my other stories, I'll reply to them eventually. I'll also get around to reviewing updates as well. **

**I don't really care whether you enjoy this or not, nor what you think of it. This is purely for me. And for once I also couldn't give a rats if you review or not. **

**Kthnx.**

X

**_Never Again._**

Emptiness.

That's all I can feel.

I should be happy that he is finally where he belongs. That he is finally at rest after so many battles. After such an exhausting existence.

To be truthful, I'm not.

I can't comprehend that he will never come back. I don't think it has hit me yet.

I'll never see his serious, intense eyes, his strong voice. I'll never feel his warmth. Never again will I explain to him the workings of modern ways, and laugh at his baffled expression as he tries to understand it. Never again will I see his features light up as he explains to me the importance of a particular Duel Monsters card. Never will I watch his regal authority as he fights one of the never-ending villains of the world.

Never again will I feel the warmth of his body pressed against my own. Never.

I'll never feel the smoothness of his skin, the strength in his arms as he holds me to him. I'll never again hear him tell me he loves me, nor the feel of his lips against mine. I'll never experience the amazing feelings he brought me, how he felt inside me, how he used to moan my name in the throes of ecstasy, or how he used to clench his fingers in my hair while I dug my nails into his back, both of us gasping, breathless.

Sure, the body is still here, alive, walking and talking. But _he_ isn't. He's gone.

He'll never come back.

Am I really so selfish?

I don't know whether to be happy or sad.

I feel like I've been hit by a bus.

I can't stop the feeling of emptiness that's coursing through me.

I know he is still with me. I know he always will be. He'll always be in my heart, and not a day will go by for the rest of my life that I wont think of him.

It's not the same.

It never will be.

Now he is just a memory.

A beautiful, incredible memory.

But I still feel so empty. Like a part of me has died with him.

I know he had to go. I know he chose to go. It was his time. He had lived his life, he had done everything he wanted and needed to do. He had been happy. He told me the night before he left that he regretted nothing.

He told me that he loved me.

I haven't cried since he walked through that door. Yugi has been silent, looking like he is about to pass out. He hasn't eaten anything for the past few days. Joey looks like a lost child. Tristan has been the strong one, chatting cheerfully away, trying to distract us all and lift our spirits. Bakura has been silent as well. I don't know how he's feeling. The Ishtar's are relieved. They made no secret of that. Their mission is done; they can go and live a normal life.

They are happy, while the rest of us mourn.

He's never coming back.

I'm numb.

But I can still comfort myself for the time being with my memories. I remember how he used to hold me, resting his head against mine because he was too short for me to nuzzle into his shoulder. I remember how his kisses tasted, how they would sometimes be slow and sensuous, making me want to melt away with the intensity of his emotion, and how they sometimes became urgent and desperate, as though he were trying to seek comfort or reassurance. How his fingers used to make me shiver as they travelled up my spine.

I remember how he used to look at me with eyes that were more unfathomable than the deepest reaches of the ocean. How I could always see the affection clearly when he looked at me. How I would lose myself in them when I wanted to forget the outside world. He used to draw me in so we could almost pretend that we were the only two in the universe.

His laugh was like a song. It wasn't often that anyone heard it, but when we did we automatically began laughing along with him. It didn't matter whether what it was he was laughing at was funny or not. We laughed anyway.

I'll never hear that laugh again.

Dammit, I'm supposed to be happy for him.

Why am I so selfish?

It doesn't matter how many memories I have, or how right it is that he is gone. It doesn't even matter that that's where he _belongs_.

The fact is, he's gone.

Gone. Forever.

And I'll never see him again.


End file.
